These Are The Seven Surprising Habits That Lead To Divorce, According To Experts

Most of us can agree, marriage can be hard. From understanding one another’s love language to being able to recover from an argument, it’s about constantly working together and actively communicating.

While it’s impossible to be perfect in a marriage, experts have done everyone a favor by revealing seven surprising habits that often lead to divorce. It’s true, without knowing it, we could be falling right into the pitfalls of some or all of these habits.

After all, it’s not just the obvious slights, like cheating or lying, it’s the more subtle habits too.

Here’s what the experts have to say.

Divorce is usually the result of many different conflicts

Allison Zamani, an associate marriage and family therapist explained to Bustle.com that what leads to a divorce isn’t typically “one specific conflict,” but rather small problems that build into big ones.

She added that when a couple feels disconnected with each other, it’s hard to restore that bond even after trying couples therapy. There are certain habits that can be early indicators that a marriage may not be so solid.

1. Avoiding Confrontation

For many of us, any friction with our spouse can feel like an automatically negative thing. However, withdrawing from a partner that raises a concern is an even bigger issue that some spouses miss.

A 2018 study published by the American Psychological Association explained that withdrawing when your partner confronts you is known as a “pursue-withdraw pattern” that can lead to a divorce if it goes unresolved.

2. Poor money management

While money talk may not sound like it fits into the concept of a fairytale love story, it can be a huge factor in marriages. If spouses aren’t on the same page with money, things can grow sour fast.

In fact, a study from the Federal Reserve Board concluded that couples with less debt and higher credit scores tend to have longer marriages.

Debt can take a huge toll, especially if one partner inherits their spouse’s debts and there’s no clear communication about how to handle it together.

3. Being jealous of your partner’s success

Ideally, we’d want to celebrate the successes that our spouse has had as well as our own. However, if seeing your partner shine makes you feel more than a little salty, it may be a red flag for the future.

This can be especially true for spouses who make more money or have higher education than their partner.

4. Bickering over chores

While this one may seem like a cliche, a whopping 80% of people have disagreements about chores with their partner. It may start as a small rift when your partner doesn’t think the dishes have to be washed immediately, and you do, but too many disagreements can do some true damage.

Dishes may be a dirty deal-breaker.

5. Being too affectionate early in the marriage

The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology reports that couples who are too gushy over each other during the “honeymoon stage” of marriage typically can’t keep that level of passion going.

After two or three years of marriage, they find that they’re out of steam and all of the masked incompatibilities quickly surface.

6. Venting about the relationship too much

While it’s normal to confide in friends and loved ones about our relationships sometimes, if you find yourself constantly venting about your spouse, there may be a problem.

The way we talk about our partner is usually a reflection of our overall feelings surrounding the relationship.

7. Skipping date nights

According to the Institute for Family Studies, “regular date nights are linked to a more stable marriage and less likelihood of divorce.”

Even if spouses see each other often, having a date night set aside to talk outside the home and away from all their responsibilities can foster openness and comfort.

These tips aren’t set in stone

It’s important to remember that these are just guidelines, not absolutes. Every marriage is different, and some habits don’t impact everyone the same way. As mentioned before, many small things usually come together to form big problems.

So, being mindful of your partner and checking in with one another can make all the difference.

Let us know what you think in the comments

Did any of these habits stand out to you? If so, let us know in the comments! Also, feel free to add any habits that we may have missed.

Last Updated on October 31, 2024 by Sarah Kester